rough edges

So this is the newest video. It's really rough and I'll probably do it over again, but I want to get in better practice of posting on here and posting some kind of video every week. The past two weeks were really rough, but I'm looking for ways to get into a better and more regular studio practice (especially since my work schedule became much fuller).

So I was at Utrecht last week and saw this gold mylar and absolutely had to have it! It is beautiful, and so reflective. I decided I wanted to use it as a background for some new videos.
I started thinking about the book I have been reading, "Severance" - the writer puts together two seemingly separate ideas: 1. The head remains conscious for 1.5 minutes after decapitation. 2. In a state of high emotion, we speak 160 words per minute.The video is just me sitting for 1.5 minutes - what goes through my mind? What am I thinking? How do I interact with my surroundings? It is an idea I would like to develop a little more, but something about the rawness of this particular video I like. Again, I know, no sound. A lot of times I change the speed in my videos and my program deletes the sound once I make that change. It's something I will be working on. Unless the video works without sound...thoughts?

big step today

Filled out my Right-to-Know form today. Yeah, apparently it is just a form that you fill out and send. Then they tell you if you are approved for the copies or not. Sending it in the morning. I'm also going to contact the family friend tomorrow to let him know that I am sending the RTK form to see if things can move faster for me. Wish me luck.

finished video

Alright. I finally put some sound to it and I think it might be finished now. I think I'm going to put a different title to it. Not "baby steps" - that was just the phrase that inspired the whole thing.

As far as sound with the other ones...Some I like without the sound. I think the first video I posted with the flour is much more powerful without sound.

In other news, I've also started a new project. I have a sheet of fabric perhaps about 10 feet long. I am embroidering text into it that I've written that are like letters to my father. They're not legible because I'm using this thread I found somewhat like fishing line and it tangles a lot (which is good). I will be wrapping myself in it every night for at least a month - hopefully to have some evidence of living with it. The whole piece circles around the idea of living with something. 

The Suicide Index

I've had this book for about two years and never read all the way through it. The writer, Joan Wickersham also went through her father's unexpected suicide. It goes through the police reports and looks at suicide from a kind of dry, scientific level. I've used it for research here and there but this week, the goal is to read through the entire thing.

another collectible for my video sketchbook

 

Alright. Two more videos today. With the first, Pressure, I thought more about what my feet were actually doing. And I think I thought too much. But I do really like the parts where you can see the pressure coming through my feet and the floor almost pushing back. So that's cool. Also, I learned from the first and marked out the frame boundaries with tape -- so that was a good learning experience.

In a way, I see this like a video sketchbook. Video has become something that feeds into my impulsive nature with ideas and the chance to have the "just do it" mentality. I'm starting to consider video more and more as a means to explore and consider my options. After all, I never tried video before -- what do I have to lose?

Now the second one I consider almost like a trailer for the finished product. I like the idea: expressing a narrative through the movement and tensions within the hand. But I want it to be longer. I want more meat to it, but not too much. For now I have called it The Birth, Life, and Death of a Man I Knew. 



taking baby steps...

It's interesting what a high amount of stress and coincidental quotations of forgiveness and happiness will do to you. I started thinking about my dad, the process of grief, the means to make like normal again. Although, most of us know by now that it never returns to normal, we can only trick our brains to think it is. I guess that's part of the obsession when I think about it: my dad wasn't too apparent in my life to begin with, so sometimes I don't realize that he isn't gone, and then when I do, I go through the grief all over again. 

So with that, I started thinking about the process of getting over it, which seems harsh, but it's what we as a society always say...I think I'm getting into a whole new category here...

This video is an experimentation of what it means to take "baby steps". I thought I would start pulling from my dance background and utilize my feet to show pressure, instability, stress, control, attempts of control, etc. I still want to do more with the video itself, but at home I only have the very basic movie editor -- so I'll be hitting the computer lab tomorrow. 

Oops!

Sorry everyone! I uploaded the video to YouTube and set it to private, thinking that if I still posted it on my blog it would work. Wrong. So it should be working now. It's limited so you can only view if you have the link.